My whole room was torn apart by my sister and her friend, mom let my cat ruin my rare quilt that I’ll never be able to replace after I repeatedly reminded her to put him outside when no one was home (I told her so many times before I left and then sent her a text everyday), my bathroom had been trashed and god knows what was growing in my tub (again, by sister and friend), Chelsie’s brownies apparently got returned to sender’d and no one let me know (and there was no reason for it either because the address is correct), my fish look half dead and the water is filthy, I can’t make tea, because god knows where whoever stuffed my mesh ball, there’s no milk or juice, sister stained and destroyed my floor pillows because she doesn’t know what the fuck basic hygiene is at age fourteen, mother threw out my nice dried flowers apparently, my cat has a mysterious cut on his forehead, mother never took the other cat to get shaved properly when she had an appointment, and the dog crapped in the corner of my room and it was just left there. But, you know, they can tear up the room or do just enough cleaning to toss out my decorative dried flowers.

I spent the past two hours crying, because fucking hell, can’t I leave for a few days without everything I own being torn apart or ruined forever?

I’m going to have to buy a new quilt and I’ll never find another like that one. They don’t make or sell them any more. They’re not even on ebay. And for now I just have my sheet, because other old comforter went to Goodwill when I cleaned the week before last. And it’s actually cold this morning.

And I have to get up early for my grandparent’s birthday party and pretend to be happy about the world.

I hate everything.

Can I move out yet? I feel like I would get along better with these people if I didn’t have to trust them.